EAST ATLANTA- We've all done it before. Hastily leaving the house, wearing nothing but a too-tight blue blazer and red bowtie. A couple of clever MIT students have been studying this phenomenon and their research has led them to what experts have already termed, "the most signifigant breakthrough in the field of naming, since Lou Gherig was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's disease."
Now the group is finding itself in the midst of a controversy. In the past, it was presumed that if a person left the house sans pants, it was that individual's choice. The accidental discovery of the Porky Pig gene (found while mapping the human genome for the gene responsible for bowtie wearing - Tucker Carlson is one of the many that has already benefited from their findings - Christian Science Monitor Oct.2007), has raised the question, are there other strains of this socially destructive condition?
Yes. There are.
DAFFY DUCKING - Involvthss drething like a dithspicable priethst with a lithsp. Editor's note: This ailment is often misdiagnosed as Sylvestering, a deep Canary obsession affecting succotash sufferers
BUGS BUNNYING - Carrot smoking transvestite robots are commonly at risk.
MS. PACMANING - Found predominantly in women, this behavior is characterized by full nudity, save for whorish make-up and the dreaded red bowtie; usually associated with a long night of pill chomping and ghost chasing.
Science, you really know your stuff!